the other sides of efy"s

i just upload a few of the picture not all..


in this particular blog, i am going to share with you some of the stories of my life. the main purpose of writing this is not to get sympathy or just creating a story. its the true life about me. as you know me, you might probably known me as a happy go lucky person<---- like my cousin define me and also some of my friends also said that too. however, it is different with my own true life. there is too many things that i keep to myself, including how some people treat me as, the pain that i had suffered along my life and also the feeling that i have kept. i think i am running out of time now, before its too late, i want to share with you some of the stories.

you might be wondering what am i gonna share with you. i am not going to share with you the secret but only the pain.

along my life, since i am just a little kid, i had suffered a few pain, but there is no answer, what diseases that actually had infected me. i dont know. when i was at about 13 years old, i usually fainted at school, at home and of course one of the reason is i had a very bad headache. from the moment, i start to be familiar with the expensive pain killer that is specialized for migrain. but sometimes its not working at all. it is still the same. sometimes, there is a time where it is so hard to breathe, its sort of like asthma, but i dont even have asthma at all after the medical check up. there was a time, where the pain is getting serious, i was warded in putra medical center for a few days. and there is further medical check up has been done by the doctor including MRI/ Ct scan.. however, the doctor said from this time, there is no such tumor or anything, but he do ask me to check after 4 years later. but i didnt do that. well, as usual i just take the painkiller to relief me, there was a time where i can't stand the pain i will scream and put my own head at the wall. am i crazy? i am not, maybe, but the pain make me do so. :( apart from that, i also meet the ustaz2, and bomoh... most of them said the same thing.. hmm..


a few years before i am 21.. i suffered the same thing. sometimes there was blood come out from the nose,gums, everywhere.there are so many thing that i do tried, but it is not working. i still suffered them. omg, can you count how many years am i suffered all that? but i am still an active person. going here and there. being active in sport. yes, it is somehow dangerous for me. but i always keep in my mind, i should appreciate my life and try to stand strong, because perhaps it would be the last day i could experience all that. anything could happy within a second.


now, i am already 21. yes. the thing getting worst. the pain keep attacking me. the blood keeps coming out. and i am yet getting weak. yes, i am pretending in front of you guys that i am fine. i am fighting. fight as far as i can, even sometime i feel i am speechless to tell you how worst is the pain. but i already had the answered, i am not like the other people, my whole body... the vein.. everything is already damage. ulcer everywhere and if i am not recover soon, it will lead to cancer. omg, how am i suppose to face all this??? and most of the people that i had consult to me about my"sistem peranakan" is not in a good condition. seriously, i felt terribly upset about that since one of my biggest dreams is to get my own baby. however. am i still have a time? i feel upset...... terribly... i could not explain to you how does it feels right now.. yes, i have to be strong. be patience and try hard. i hope i could do so. mmmm..

the other sides of efy's

i wanna be Happy...